I’m actually asking. I generally give advice and/or commentary before asking for input. This time, I’m asking first: how do we stop abuse, assault and rape? (Please comment and we can discuss)
A friend of mine shared this post and her own story and it floored me.
Not that I didn’t think women were catcalled regularly – and to that extent – Jesus, guys. Stop catcalling women. It’s absurd. You look like the asshat you probably are. So I guess that’ll fall on deaf ears.
But catcalling is minor in the grand scheme of things. Like someone asking “How’s your day going, honey?” While an annoyance is rather trivial.
And the other extreme – calling America a “rape culture” is poor form. You know what’s rape culture? A lot of countries in Africa. Germany in the 40s. Communist Russia. Eastern block states. We don’t have a culture of endorsed rape.
So let’s rein in the conversation and focus on the actual, addressable problems of abuse, assault and rape without using hyperbole or focusing on trivial inconveniences.
In light of more college rape cases – Baylor, Florida State, Vanderbilt – it’s time to seriously consider excommunicating football players from campus.
Banning fraternities isn’t the craziest idea either.
Neither of these are popular ideas, but let’s think about why. Male dominated regimes? NCAA using the athletic prowess of teens for their billion dollar empire so they cover up evil?
That’s just an attempt to throttle college campus rape and assault. Like this film covers (Hunting Ground).
It’s time we gutted our education structure (based on pre-Industrialization methods) and started fresh. We should include a class on consent, abuse, assault, rape and self-defense and defense of others in these situations.
Yes, obviously, better parenting would be ideal. And boy can I dream (anarchist at heart, but understand we will never be in a utopia to allow that as long as we inhabit this planet). But we can’t count on that.
We have to get the good guys to stand and fight. Instead of just being a shoulder to cry on.
There’s a lot of hate going around for white knights (some of it deserved). If those guys were good guys instead of pushovers, things would get better. For them and the girls they attempt to protect from evil.
My ex recently called me her “knight in shining armor.” My gut reaction was to reject this because of how many times girls hurt me deeply when I was good to them. But then I thought about it and my relationship with her and accepted it. She needed someone like me. And I needed to show her guys like me exist.
So I responded to her text with “my armor is scorched and battered. It’s certainly not been shiny in a very long time. but thanks for the sentiment.” She admitted I was right (for once! haha).
We need to teach guys (and girls) – it’s not about defending guys or girls because you are one – it’s about sticking with good people and throwing the bad ones under the bus where they belong.
Our boys need better role models. We need good men to father the fatherless. Because fathers are incredibly important. Biology is irrelevant, the boys (and girls) need a father figure who’s good to them and teaches them.
The internet exists. We can teach them. We should. This is a formal request for other men to join me in creating a series of videos of lessons we learned from our fathers so we can pass them on to the kids growing up without a father to teach them those things.
I have a lot of solutions for handling our boys and education in general, but I’m not going to say anything specific about what we need to teach girls because I’ve never been one and I never will be. That’s not my domain. I know my place (a good leader knows s/he doesn’t always have to be calling the shots).
Women reading this – what solution ideas do you propose to tackle the abuse/assault/rape issue?
Thank you for reading and I look forward to our discussion.